Tired and a bit frustrated, but forever grateful.

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This parenting gig is NO joke let me tell you. If you are a parent then of course you’ll know. As someone who usually has a grip on everything, I have never felt more challenged in my entire life. Not necessarily a bad thing.

Seven and a half months in, this is the first time I feel totally helpless. Jordan has always been an incredibly curious little boy. He watches people and things with such intense concentration, taking it ALL in watching every movement, colour, leaf blowing in the wind. He has always been that way. Now that he is discovering that there is more to life than lying down and sitting up, he wants to get moving, he wants to explore.. he’s desperate for adventure.

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Jordan has discovered how to ‘shuffle’ across the bed by gripping the duvet and pulling himself forward. He is such a strong little monkey and actually has calf and shoulder muscles at the tender age of 7.5 months.. he is BUSY! Jords tries to pull himself forward on his play mat, it doesn’t work, he cries. WAILS actually. Jordan gets incredibly bored very quickly and has started to moan when one of us aren’t within sight. Nic and I just don’t know how to handle it. Do we leave him to moan it out? Is Jordsย testing us? Does he already KNOW that if he just carrying on moaning we will eventually come to pick him up / sing to him / do a silly dance? Are we creating bad habits?

Jords will sit happily for about 5 minutes a session and then the vocals start. Poor sausage, I can totally understand that he just wants to move but I just don’t know what to do to help him. I feel useless. Jords is trying to pull himself up on everything he possibly can. He is not strong enough to stand yet and I *really* don’t want him to miss the fundamental stage of crawling. We have tried encouraging him by crawling around ourselves (you may laugh) and by coaxing him with all the ‘toys’ he loves the most. Nothing. He just gets more and more frustrated. I know he can crawl because he crawls on the bed, just nowhere else. He is only interested in standing otherwise. It makes him happy so I let him stand.. He can learn all the gross motor skills stuff later if need be. Is that bad? I have heard that before every big milestone is a bit of a breakdown for both mom and baby. Let’s not get into teething shall we?

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Thank goodness Jords is a good night sleeper otherwise I think I would be a total wreck. I just feel very challenged right now. I suppose that is what parenting is, no? Between making sure he gets the right nutrition to providing him with the simulation he needs.. this *really* is a full-time job. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Being a mom is HECTIC!

Don’t misunderstand me. I know that Jords just needs time and that is okay. All babies are different, I get that and he is still so young. I am NOT forcing anything and I don’t mind when he reaches his milestones. All in his own precious time. Jords seems so unhappy at the best of times.. he moans more than he giggles these days and it’s heartbreaking to be around and to deal with.ย It’s probably a horrible combination of not being mobile and those top two little toofies that are so desperately trying to make their way out.ย I am just tired, and I feel completely helpless at the moment and writing this all out is my way of letting it go.

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Having said all of this, a lot of you probably think I’m being a bit dramatic and I sort of feel silly complaining about these things that may be so insignificant in life. In all of this, as challenging as it may be.. I am ABOVE ALL, so grateful that we have a HEALTHY baby boy to love. I can’t imagine how strong one would have to be to deal with bigger things and I have huge amounts of respect for other dealing with real issues and challenges. We are really and so truly blessed with a beautiful healthy boy and I can not and will not ever over look or forget that. It’s good to be challenged sometimes, even though it really isn’t easy most days. A good old challenge builds character and makes us stronger at the end of it all. I can do this, of course I can. Man up, woman! *Pity party over* x

19 thoughts on “Tired and a bit frustrated, but forever grateful.

  1. Hi Nikki, totally try a walking ring (doesn’t have to be those expensive ones either). My two best friends are physios and they both have used them for their kiddies, and all of our kids crawled and walked appropriately. My little 6,5 month old is just loving her when I cook dinner as she can wiz around the kitchen and explore a little more.

  2. Hi nikki, im a paediatric physio and in my opinion walking rings aren’t very good for children’s legs at it forced them to walk when the muscles are not ready. children really need to crawl to develop normal muscles power and tone and it is also important for language skills (strangely enough). encourage him to crawl by lying him on his tummy and placing toys in front of him. maybe bend his legs into a crawling position if you want but he is still very young – some kids only crawl at 9 months! as hard as it is just let him do his thing on the floor. he will figure out how to move because he really wants to. always rescuing him will not help him grow. the best thing for a child’s motor development is to leave him to his own devices with toys on the floor.
    Hope this helps!

    • Thanks so much Lara. He just cries when on his tummy BUT today he pulled himself forward a bit ๐Ÿ™‚ SO exciting! Maybe he will crawl after all. For the reasons you mentioned I really want him to. HOORAH! Thanks so much for the comment x

  3. You’re doing a great job mommy. And I’m impressed that you’re only feeling a bit frustrated now, but it’s nice to know that you’re also human ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Sounds like Jordan might be experiencing mild separation anxiety when he can’t see you? Some babies think if they can’t see you that you have disappeared completely, hence why peek-a-boo is such a good game for them as you “re-appear” after a few seconds. With Jet I would take to hiding behind a wall/chair and then re-appearing after longer and longer intervals so he would get used to the idea that I will be coming back. Also when leaving the room I would say where I’m going and that I would be back now now.
    Also when he starts moaning for you maybe start by calling out so he knows you’re still there and see if he calms down after a few minutes? They know how to manipulate us from a very young age ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Jet started crawling late, and he had this weird one legged crab crawl, but was so much more interested in standing (he learnt to stand waaaay before crawling) so I would just hold him between my legs for stability until he was standing by himself (usually leaning his belly on the coffee table, lol).
    He started crawling properly one he discovered that he wanted to walk, so after many months of mommy having to hold his hands (& break her back from being bent over) so that he could get to where he wanted to go he started walking by himself at 15 months (hubby is still sad that he’s reached that milestone, mainly because no object in the house is safe from curious hands, haha).

    Good luck with the teething…Jet’s back molars have been coming out so that’s been super fun…no not really :b

  4. You are NOT alone in feeling this way. I have an almost-seven-month-old who is doing the exact same thing. He wants to be able to move on his own – so desperately – but, like your little one, he refuses to crawl yet. He hates being put down and prefers to be entertained 100% of the time (which can be exhausting, if not impossible).

    Like the other commenter said, I skipped crawling, too. So, if he goes that route, no biggie. I am not sure how big his head is, but our pediatrician (in the USA) said that larger headed babies tend to skip crawling because walking is more comfortable for their little necks. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I appreciate the honesty of this post – and love the pictures. We have an English Bulldog, too – and you’ve inspired me to go take some pictures!

  5. We are going through a phase of Little Man waking at 430am every day. To play. Coupled with my return to work I have developed a deep appreciated for coffee! I just have to remind myself that this too will pass.

    If it makes you feel better I totally skipped crawling. I went from a bum shuffle to walking. Each baby is different and Jordan will get there in his own time. Enjoy his needing you and don’t feel bad that is is all a bit overwhelming; it IS overwhelming! xx

  6. Hi Nikki, a little bit of a ‘breakdown’ is totally acceptable when you’re doing the toughest job in the world. Don’t worry about Jordan’s crawling – I’m sure he’s going to just do it any second now. And if he skips it, it’s not the end of the world – I’ve heard of lots of people who skipped crawling or whose kids did and they’re all just fine, really. I’m no expert, but in my mommy reads I’ve come across the fact that at our babies’ ages, they become more social (that’s, they’d rather interact with people than play with their toys) and therefore want to spend more time with you, so they get upset when you leave them alone. All of it is a phase, it’ll pass and I bet you we’ll miss it ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Hang in there Nikki! My mantra while parenting a baby was always… this is just a phase… it will pass.
    I tend to agree with Cindy, use a walking ring, just for a few minutes at a time during the day to relieve his frustration.
    Hannah crawled for a very short time and was walking by 9 months. Crawling is obvs an NB part of their development and helps strengthen their shoulder girldles and pelvis, but what was I supposed to do? Push her down and discourage her?
    Jordi’s gonna do what Jordi wants to do and there isn’t much you can do about it except try and keep him as entertained and happy as possible and within reason.

    All the best!

  8. Hi darling girl I love your honest account of what we have all gone through xxxyou are amazing. You will have challenges all. The way through I still have them and J is 23 lol and it all part of learning for both parents and kids and remember those gorgeous little rascals can be masters of manipulation but at the end of the day all they want is love xx and you have plenty of that xx keep doing what you are doing it’s all inside you … A beautiful mummy. Hugs and love

  9. We also used a walking ring, just for about 10 mins at a time a few times a day, mainly to give me a chance to wash the dishes, make a cup of tea etc. Babies need to get frustrated to pressure them into wanting to crawl in my opinion, I just let them moan until it frustrated me to pick them up (not very long haha). Wait until he starts crawling and goes everywhere! Frustrating as motherhood may be at times, you will look back and cherish the memories and laugh them off one day. Just stop and relax when it gets too much,the housework can wait ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. I am going through exactly the same thing with my son who is nearly 6 months. He moans a lot as well. Some days are worse than others. I work from home as well so I know exactly what you are going through. I found The Wonder Weeks to be helpful but just knowing that its all normal doesnt make it easier.

    Hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Aaah, my friend. I can totally relate to where you’re at, but do yourself a favour and google ‘the good enough mom’. A friend who happens to be a psychologist told me about ‘the good enough mother’ theory when Noah was round about the same age as Jordan is now, and it helped me so, so, so much. I realised that in order to progress and reach those milestones, babies NEED to get frustrated. Why else would you possibly decide to get up from a seated position and start crawling? So, with all that in mind, I think the fact that Jordan appears to be getting so frustrated is a GOOD thing – and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for him feeling those feelings of frustration. All humans experience frustration, and we all need to learn about how to deal with frustration at some point!

    Noah only started crawling properly at around 9 months (and I have two friends whose babies started WALKING at 9 months!) & given his strong little legs and love for standing, I was very worried that Noah would go straight from zero to walking, no crawling in between. When I expressed my concerns to our paediatrician, he said not to beat ourselves up about it, even if Noah DOES skip the “crucial” crawling stage. He said that Noah was developing perfectly in every other area, so that’s all that matters. Not even a week later, and he was crawling. Now, at almost 15 months, he’s pulling himself up against furniture, ‘cruising’ around the lounge by holding onto the couches, tables, etc, but still no walking. Sigh. LOADS of moms whose babes are the same age and have been walking for months give me a bit of a ‘skeef’ look when I tell them that he isn’t walking yet, but I’ve decided to make peace with it. I was recently reminded of the Baby Sense methods so reread a few chapters & came to the conclusion that Noah is simply a ‘settled’ baby – he doesn’t get frustrated as easily and is happy to go with the flow. To him, there’s no reason to start walking – he’s perfectly happy crawling all over the place and he just KNOWS that mama will pick him up if he asks loudly enough. He’ll start walking when he’s ready & can’t handle the frustration of not being as mobile as he could be, and I need to accept that. Easier said than down, of course! (Sorry, this is a VERY long-winded comment – I’m just hoping that you can relate to my experience somehow, because I can certainly relate to yours!) Also, I see several people have mentioned walkers – I agree. They have a bad reputation, but we had one that I used occasionally at the stage just before Noah started crawling & it helped a lot.

  12. You’re not alone sister <3 so refreshing to hear that other moms are feeling the same.
    You are raising a champ Nix, and he looks so happy apart from those frustrating moments, Malakai is also leopard crawling and make irritated baby lion sounds – so trying to motivate, distract them is quite the work out hey? phew.
    You're an awesome mom filled with so much love , and care for your lil Jords – what a blessed lil man.
    Soon he will be crawling and walking laughing his head off in deeeeeelight ๐Ÿ˜€

    When I have tough mama milestone moments I just go "Just breath, its just for a season."

    Enjoy swimming with Jords, take pics.
    xxx

    ps : Jords Eyes are beyond beautiful!

  13. ๐Ÿ™‚ Love those sleep times – really allows you to realise how much your precious babies mean to you – without them we would all crack!

  14. These times are so difficult, they get so frustrated trying to learn something new that it becomes challenging for everyone.

    Have you thought about getting a walking ring (we had one even though I know how “bad” they are). We obviously only let them in it a couple of times a day and for short periods but they loved being able to get around and it hasn’t seemed to have affected any one of them in terms of crawling or walking. I think we still have ours if you want it.

  15. You are doing an amazing job niks!!! This is quite normal for his age so don’t give up hope! My niece Isabelle used to get so frustrated in the end my sister and her husband got her one of those walker wheely mabobs and she was the happiest chap ever. On the teething front all I can say is teejel teejel teejel it’s going to be a long painful haul for your poor angel, Isabelle at 2 is still having her uk equivalent (bonjella) (which she calls cake Bahahaha) ps medicine is also cake

  16. Nikki, give yourself a break. I can completely relate to the frustrations. Hubby works all day and comes home to a fully fed, just bathed, burped, nappy changed, happy boy. But I’m sure he believes he is always like that because on the weekend, he gets annoyed when Axl just wants to be held and cuddled. These days, I see showering daily, a personal achievement. Never mind shaving and eating breakfast! Point being, you’re not a bad mom because you feeling tired and frustrated – that’s just part of being a mom (and a good one, too). This is just one of many posts to follow, on the challenges of motherhood, but let’s admit that there is nothing more rewarding than seeing that gorgeous grin! Hold on to those moments to get you through these tough ones! Good luck hun, get some caffeine into you and give that beautiful son of yours a cuddle!

  17. Oh Nikki we have all been there it is just another stage of him growing up too fast, you will wish these moments back one day. Do you have a walking ring they were always a great success with all my boys, it lets them get around, and they are safe (unless they fall out the back door), but also make sure he still crawls daily, even if it means you are down there with him, it is a very important part of development.
    Good luck and don’t beat yourself up you are doing the most amazing job. Lots of love xx

  18. Jordan sounds exactly like my little girl Isla and they’re the same age. She is crawling all over and like Jordan loves to stand – we might need to get one of those kiddie leashes when she starts walking. Shes desperate to get going and explore the world and also stared with such intensity.
    Couldn’t agree with you more that parenting is tough but oh so rewarding.
    Charlene

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